A few years ago I was out grocery shopping and, a woman, about my age, was looking at me rather perplexed. As I got closer to her, she got right in front of me and asked, “Are you a real priest?”

I don’t remember the context of why I was wearing my clerical collar, many UU ministers only wear clerical collars for specific tasks like social justice events, or getting visitation access to a congregant hospital room outside of regular visiting hours. I must have been coming home from some kind of protest. I was wearing my collar and had my red hair in its naturally curly state, a full face of makeup including a bright pink lipstick—because bright pink lipstick gives me super power.

I said to her, “No, I’m not a priest, I’m a Unitarian Universalist minister.”

“I did not know priests could look like you,” she said to me with a look on her face that made me a little concerned for her.

“Well, I am a Unitarian Universalist minister, and we look many different, and wonderful, ways. You look like you’re a little in distress, what’s going on?”

The woman told me a story of how she used to love going to church until some rather unfortunate things happened in their church leadership. She told me she had never seen a woman priest, or a priest who looked so kind and was not scary. We talked for a while about my Unitarian Universalist religion and how we welcome and love all people because of exactly who they are.

She thanked me for our conversation. She told me she was going to find a church that had a priest that looked like me, and we both went our own ways.

I know it is the case that many UUs have aversions to folks wearing clerical collars. I do too. It is also the case that right now, this world needs more love, and it needs more of us who are called by love to show up in visible and radical ways. To exist as love. There are so many times when I have been stopped while wearing my collar because some stranger needs support or prayer or love. And friends, I am here for that. I don’t care if they think I’m Christian, my goal is to show up in this world as love for anyone who might need it.

I have decided, given the upcoming administration change, that every time I leave my house (except on Sunday mornings), that I will be wearing my clergy collar, generally under some kind of t-shirt with a social justice message. I want people to see me in public and to know that clergy can look many different ways, that loving clergy exist in many different spaces, that we are a welcoming place for everyone who seeks care and support.

Seeing me in a collar may make you uncomfortable, I understand that. But I want you to remember who I am, and who I will always continue to be for our congregation. If it makes you feel squirmy when you see me, I also want you to remember that I am wearing it to show up as love in this world and hopefully that will make you feel a little more comforted.

Love, Rev. Jo